While I have been “gone” the last several days, I have come to realize several things:
Today is National Left Handed Day, and it also happens to be Friday the 13th. Coincidence? Historically, left handed people have been thought to be evil, awkward, and clumsy. In China, the left side is the bad side, and some Muslim countries, you only use your left hand to wipe your ass.
It’s also thought that left-handedness is caused by testosterone, causing the right side of the brain to grow larger, making the evil bastards smarter than us.
Now me, I love left hands, mostly because my wife is left handed (oh how sweet!) which means if I’m getting a hand job, it’s gonna be from the left.
It’s also National Fillet Mignon Day. Who comes up with this stuff?
So ward off evil today with a left-handed shandy and a nice steak.
Occassionally when I get drunk, and I can get it up, I’ll treat my wife like a whore and get rough with her. Not like smack her around or anything, just be forceful, call her names, cum on her face, things like that. She says she doesn’t like it, and I’m an asshole, but I don’t believe her. I mean, if she didn’t enjoy it, why does she charge me so much when it’s over?
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