Easy On The Eyes

October 21st, 2009 - 

I’m starting to suspect that some of these photos are staged.  A woman of her obvious intellect and discretion would never be caught in a Wal-Mart.  I’m thinking it’s either a bet that she lost, or she’s tormenting her lover/ex-lover by flaunting her sweet, sexy body to all the Wal-Mart bourgeois.  Either way, I think I’m in love and I’m going to go upstairs and insist that my wife start following this ladies example of devotion.  That’ll show her who’s boss!

Easy On The Eyes | www.peopleofwalmart.com.

Is She Confined to Wal-Mart?

October 6th, 2009 - 

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Did one of those activist judges put her under house arrest at Wal-Mart?  What is she homeless?  Running out of room at the local hoosegaw?  I thought arrest was supposed to be a punishment.  This chick looks like Wal-Mart’s target audience.  Maybe that’s it.  Wal-Mart has partnered with the  justice system to have people sentenced to stay at Wal-mart:  Buy all their toiletries, eat at the snack bar, and spend all of their money there instead of being a burden to the penal system (ED:  you missed a prime opportunity for a dick joke right there, WTF?)

I think I may have just solved the prison overcrowding problem.  Can you patent shit like that?  I see those commercials on TV for patenting inventions, but never for patenting thoughts and ideas.  I’d ask a lawyer but the only ones I know are busy chasing ambulances and suing companies for letting their employees try and kill themselves so they can make bank.  Maybe I need a more upscale set of associates.

Not So Cool J | www.peopleofwalmart.com.