No Exit Wound» Scapegoats

This Isn’t A Disaster

Monte — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:54:57 +0000

But the real movie looks like it is. And John Cusack looks like a complete wanker in it. Why can’t they just make Grosse Pointe Blank 2: Second Shot? It’s the only success he’s had isn’t it? Have some sexy female criminal mastermind send assassins to kill him while he lives his typical middle class life with Minnie Driver, and their daughter played by Miley Cyrus. The can team up together fighting evil and learning more about each other and the love they thought they had lost. You still get explosions and car chases wthout having to resort to crap like this.

But this re-edit looks genius. I think it’s the bongo music.

2012: THIS IS A DISASTER on Vimeo | ScapeGoats.

Well It Turns Out That Microsoft Ad WAS A Porno

Monte — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 20:50:26 +0000

It’s nice to see people who aren’t afraid to get their freak on, crossing racial and generational barriers. I mean, usually to see porn with this diverse of a group, you need to buy it from Southern Charms, or some other two-bit “amateur” site. I like the way grandma keeps glancing at the black dude, but not for too long. She’s such a tease. And the white guy actually seems less creepy than most white guys in porn. I think they were going for the Chuck look, which, girls tell me, attract them. And the blonde MILF is pretty much a standard, now isn’t she? Pretty, but not too pretty. Suggestive, but not too suggestive. I bet Chuck there is wrapped around her finger, and lets her do just about anything she wants, just for the honor of staying married to her. But anyways, what a stupid idea. The only people having Windows 7 launch parties are guys who are too geeky to get girls, and still play with action figures (otherwise known as dolls.) And I’ve seen better infomercials advertising rectum wash than this. The bleeping just makes it almost bearable. If you are having a Windows 7 party, and aren’t a chickenhead, or male, prove me wrong and send me pictures.

Well It Turns Out That Microsoft Ad WAS A Porno | ScapeGoats.

Reality Show Whores

Monte — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:28:45 +0000

Do disgraced stars cheapen reality shows? Really? I thought reality shows were created by disgraced stars turned whores, for disgraced stars turned whores, and the common people were just trying to horn in on them. Reality shows are here to show us the lowest of the low, and entertain us through ridicule and pity. And whores. Without the whores, you’d lose the guy faction of your market segment. I think they should make a reality show using actual whores, follow them around throughout their day. Hell, you’d probably be able to find a couple johns that would be willing to sign release waivers for a discount that would appear without their faces blocked out. Kevin Federline is calling his agent as we speak. You’d have to call it a documentary though, to get around all those puritans.

Next up would be a porn star reality show. They haven’t done that yet have they? Put it on HBO or Showtime and follow some porn stars around. It would sort of be like that Kardashian show, but you’d get to see the whores actually perform. But not too much, cause they want you to buy the film that’s tied in that week. Put a couple male pornstars on there too and have them act like they have feelings so the chicks want to watch it. Instant in to getting a girl you want to mount into watching porn. I’m a frickin’ genius! Pretty soon she’ll be open to wanting to mimic the positions of the actors on the screen (“Do people really do that honey?” I don’t know, lets try and find out…) I hope some cable TV exec is reading this (yeah right) and goes off and makes this so I can get lucky soon, cause telling chicks I’m a blogger hasn’t gotten me any anal so far.

Do disgraced stars cheapen reality shows? | ScapeGoats.