No Exit Wound» jubblies

Do the Jello Jiggle

Monte — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:21:31 +0000

Breaking pictures of Christina eating a Jello cup. The British call it a pot of jelly for some reason. Somehow they think this makes them more sophisticated than us. Did they forget Katie Price or whatever her name is hails from there? I don’t care though. This could be a picture of her raising a leg to blow out a burrito fart and it would still give me a hardon. Even the supposedly unflattering pictures of her walking through the airport a week or so ago gave me a thrill, though it might have more to do with my wife holding out for me going on week three more than anything else. How is “at least you aren’t as fat as your sister” anything but a compliment?

Sesame Street is Hot and Cold on Katy Perry

Monte — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 17:57:36 +0000

I definitely have mixed feeling about this story. On one hand, it’s cool to interest kids in education using popular subjects and people. On the other hand, this chick is engaged to Russell Brand. You can’t expose juveniles to that sort of thing!

I don’t think it would have killed her to wear a top this didn’t show her jubblies bursting out. According to a source, the top is actually flesh covered up to her neck, but it doesn’t look that way to me. Most of the kids watching are just getting over their oral fixation, and this would just throw them back into the dark word of addiction. Believe me, I know. Remember Susan?

Katy Perry’s Cleavage Banned From Sesame Street.

An Answer To The Breast/Boob/Funbag Question

Monte — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:31:15 +0000

One of the things that is more fun than talking about boobies is listening to women talk about boobies. Last week, Jezebel held a poll looking for the preferred term, and boobs won (don’t boobs always win, really?)

I’m also happy the jubblies made the list, though chesticles just sounds wrong. And angry sack of rabbits? Really?

But I may start using the term Bristols. Just sayin.

An Answer To The Breast/Boob/Funbag Question.

Aarti, Our New Sweet Tooth

Monte — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:23:34 +0000

So last night Aarti, the Aarti Paarti blogger, won Next Food Network Star. I have to put a disclaimer here, I’ve always had a thing for Indian girls, much more than Asian girls (eat that, nerds!) Even though she grew up in Dubai, she gives off a sort of California girl vibe. She used to be a producer at CNN before going to culinary school and enjoys belly dancing (and who doesn’t like that?) I’m looking forward to her show and hope that it will cut down on all those damn contest shows! I’d watch Food Network more if it wasn’t for all of them (I get the munchies a lot…)

Did I mention she has Juggs?

Bra Gas Mask

Monte — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 22:13:51 +0000

If there’s anything worse than poisoned jubblies, I don’t know what they are. Boobs are a terrible thing to waste. And that’s why someone has finally invented the bra gas mask. If World War Tres ever comes about, it’s comforting to know that at least there whilst be titties left for the survivors, because, what gives you more hope in life than tits? As a fat, unloved, socially awkward teen, I know tits are the only thing that made life worth living. I guess that’s why I always go for big ones (can tits be too big? yes, they can. Even comical, but that’s another post.)

Oh wait. The gas mask part of this isn’t for the tits. It’s for people. Tits aren’t people? Apparently this is a bra that converts into two gas masks, one for the jubbly host, and one for her companion. I think I liked my idea better.

Garment device convertible to one or more facemasks – Patent 7255627.

This is What Women Should Look Like

Monte — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:58:46 +0000

And this is how men should look at women. If I wasn’t so poor, I could actually buy the picture and post it for you. But if I had money, you’d probably be reading a classy, art inspired monologue on beauty, instead of a pervert’s random typings while drooling over a killer rack. We both lose, I guess. And the guy who’s jaw is about to fall off is her fiance. He’s seen those fleshy wonderpuppies unleashed (well, I assume he has,) and still reacts that way.

Christina Hendricks via What Would Tyler Durden Do.

Purely For Informational Purposes

Monte — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 20:17:35 +0000

I can’t imagine that this was actually made for women. I suspect it was made for men and to draw attention to the company. And I say BRAVO!

Ban the Bounce

Do women really want to see a pair of jubblies bouncing all over the place? I know I do, but, wouldn’t you already know how your knockers roll? I don’t care, actually, I’m gonna go look at the G cup.