No, it isn’t Ironic

September 27th, 2010 - 
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Segway bikiniThis story isn’t even that funny, and it’s not ironic, you Alanis Morissette tards.  Jimi Heselden(not pictured,) who owned the Segway Company, was found dead after he seemingly drove a Segway prototype off a cliff on his estate in Yorkshire while inspecting the grounds.  He was a businessman and inventor, who made his money from defense products he created after being laid off from his job in the mines.

He created HESCO Bastions company to sell pre-made forms that soldiers could fill with dirt or sand to create protective fortifications.  They have also been used for flood control.

He was 62.

Segway company owner dies riding two-wheeled machine off cliff – Telegraph.

Blonde Christina Hendricks Blowjob

September 14th, 2010 - 

Christina Hendricks to be a blondeBy now everybody has heard that Christina Hendricks is going to be in a movie with Ryan Gosling.    What they don’t know, in order of importance, is:

  1. She will be blond, not a redhead
  2. She will not have sex in the movie
  3. She gets her freakin’ head blown off!

She plays an airheaded bank teller who somehow gets involved in a disastrous bank heist gone awry.  I can’t wait!

EXCLUSIVE! A Blonde Christina Hendricks Gets Her Head Blown Off After A Bank Heist Gone Wrong In ‘Drive’! « Hollywood Life.

Naked Driving Aussie Killers

September 8th, 2010 - 

That sort of sounds like a movie title.  Maybe I should ™ it.  The good news is that a hot, young, Aussie blond who likes to drive naked will not be going to jail.  The bad news is: bitch killed Danny Glover!  No Lethal Weapon 5?  Why was he even in Australia, was he visiting Mel? You have to give him props, though, for getting such a fine young white thang.

Jessica Maree Langford will probably end up getting community service, because she is remorseful, and Danny’s parents have forgiven her (I thought they would be dead by now also?  How old was he?) Do you think the verdict and sentence would have been the same if she had been a guy? His ass would have been on death row.  Plus, Danny Glover would have been killed while on the down low.  I like the hot chick version better.  Way to go, real life.

Hmm.  Leathal Weapon 5: Naked Driving Aussie Killers. Coming to a theater near you in October.

Teenager Jessica Langford was naked when she crashed car killing boyfriend Daniel Glover | The Daily Telegraph.

Murphy Imposes Death Penalty Moratorium

September 7th, 2010 - 

A Great Way to GoThere is a worldwide shortage of sodium thiopental, one of the drugs used in the three drug cocktail that makes up lethal injections for the death penalty.  Apparently there is only one company that makes it, Hospira, and they won’t have any until next year, because demand for it has usually been low.  The FDA does not even list it as being usable for capital punishment, but instead as an anesthetic for use in hospitals.

Ohio and Washington have been using sodium thiopental alone in high doses for lethal injection, draining the supplies when coupled with the Texas death penalty express lane.  You’d think Texas would just shoot ‘em.  Maybe now they will have to.

Murphy Imposes Death Penalty Moratorium | ScapeGoats.

Rock Death Abounds

August 23rd, 2010 - 

Charles HaddonWhat a weekend in rock! Ou Est Le Swimming Pool frontman Charles Haddon , and a concertgoer in California both committed suicide.

Haddon apparently feared that he had seriously injured a female fan after a sudden stage dive the previous day at the Pukkelpop Festival in Belgium.  So he climbed to the top of a satellite mast and jumped off, either from remorse, or wanting to prevent the band from incurring a lawsuit (what?)

Michael Edward Pickels, however, just seems to be a crazy who decide to jump off a roof during a winery festival in San Jose.  Maybe The Swell Season is that bad, I’m not sure, never heard them.

And in related death news, Michael Been of The Call, had a heart attack and died backstage at the Michael BeenPukkelpop Festival also.  His son, Robert Levon, is frontman for Black Rebel Motorcylce Club, and he was their sound man.

Did anything good happen this weekend?

British singer Charles Haddon apparently commits suicide at rock festival | EW.com.

Michael Been of The Call dies