No Exit Wound

Kat Dennings Thinks You Are a Sicko

Monte — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 17:38:19 +0000

You probably are a sicko, so I don’t really see what the problem is. She seems surprised that people would tune into her show just to ogle her in that uniform. I don’t think Polyester has ever looked that good.

She also says, and I quote

I used to dress, and I still kind of do dress like a big schlep sack, because I don’t like people looking at my ta-tas, but on the show, I try to look flattering.

Well Kat, they are one fine looking burden to bare.

Kat Dennings Addresses Those Comments About Her ‘2 Broke Girls’ Uniform | Access Hollywood – Celebrity News, Photos & Videos.

I’d Do Her Friend First

Monte — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:48:32 +0000

I guess Cher Lloyd has a new video out, and this is the only part that caught my attention (well, apart from the three of them lying on a bed together.) All I know is I spent more time looking at the blonde than I did at Cher. Give her a recording contract! The one on the left looks like a cheeky monkey, also.

Christina Hendricks Was In A Music Video

Monte — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:43:01 +0000

I can’t believe I’m linking to this site, but this was worth watching. I guess I could have gone and found it somewhere else and not given credit, but I’m a standup kind of guy. And lazy. So anyways, back in 1997, there was a band named Everclear, and they had a couple hits, and they made some music videos for MTV (if you don’t know what those are, go ask your parents.) And in one of them, Christina Hendricks was the star. I didn’t bother to turn the volume on because it would have just distracted me, but Christina plays a game show contestant who bounces up and down and claps. There are also other showgirls there, one of which gets her ass patted by Bob Barker, and she likes it. Also, if you watch to the very end, it looks like an Asian girl in a school girl outfit is hitting on one of the showgirls. My kind of video.

He who shall remain nameless – Everclear video featuring Christina Hendricks

I Suggest This Be Settled With Mud Wrestling

Monte — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:24:39 +0000

Hooters is charging a “rival” restaurant, Twin Peaks, with stealing it’s trade secrets. What sort of trade secrets could they possess? They serve up beer, sort of digestible food, and have it served by girls in skimpy outfits who weren’t brave enough to pursue their dream of being discovered by Hollywood.

I guess Twin Peaks (which, you have to admit, is a great name,) has hired away quite a few former Hooters management people, such as Lexi here, to help them expand.

If they asked me for suggestions, I’d tell them to drop the subtlety from their menu selections and employee uniforms. Hooters are just strip clubs for religious people anyways.

I remember when Wendy’s first went nationwide and the copycats came in. They sued Sandy’s out of business, but Cindy’s was just different enough (they didn’t have fake newspaper printing on their tables) that they couldn’t get rid of them through the legal system. Mysteriously, their restaurant burned down one night. Don’t get any ideas, Hooters…

Hooters Lawsuit Claims Rival Restaurant Stole ‘Trade Secrets’.

Getting Rich on the Internet

Monte — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 13:52:02 +0000

This is my 202nd post. You people have severely disappointed me in not assisting on making me rich from this website. I am currently so poor that my parents are evicting me from their unfinished, unheated basement. A homeless man gave me his cheeseburger last night because I looked worse off than him. And now one of the advertising networks is dropping me. I might never get the $15 I’ve earned so far! If I don’t get the money for the penis injections, I’m never gonna make it in the porn business.

Hop On Pop

Monte — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 13:44:17 +0000

I have refused to watch the new Two and a Half Men. I absolutely can’t stand Ashton Kutcher. He started wearing thin on That 70′s Show, and it’s been balls to the wall downhill ever since.

Not surprisingly, he cheats on Demi, and his favorite line is we’re separated, we just haven’t made it public. And everyone knows that blondes believe anything, especially if it comes out of the mouth of a star.

This blonde, Sara Leal, allegedly decided that her giving it up to a douchebag should be worth a quarter of a million dollars, and when he didn’t pay, she made it public. I think in your country, that is called blackmail. She is now talking to her lawyers about her legal options. Legal Options? There are legal options for when you sleep with a married man and he won’t pay you? I might be in trouble…

Sara Leal Bikini Picture – poponthepop.com.

What Are Eyegore Awards?

Monte — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:40:14 +0000

One of the nice things about B grade horror movies is they usually feature chicks with big tits that want to show them off. Based on the title of this news article, I thought this would be a bunch of them walking the red carpet and hopefully pulling the occasional Nancy Grace ( I see you brought the twins!.) But after looking through them, I’m starting to suspect that the Eyegore Awards are really something to celebrate gay nerds. And I looked at every single photo. Except the last three which wouldn’t even load. I think some higher power might have just saved my life. I was audibly sobbing by #67. To save you some pain (unless you are into that,) here are the highlights of what you will miss by not clicking through:

One! one fake plastic blonde with implants
David Arquette
A gay vampire supporting actor
Jamie Kennedy
a couple girls who I think were on television in the 90′s
a guy who I would have bet money on being that gay porn star who got beheaded, but turned out to be Corey Feldman. Corey Fucking Feldman
Rob Zombie
Rob Zombie’s wife, who is hotter then I expected, and doesn’t have Caucasian dreadlocks.

So instead, this post has a picture of Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics, who is both more horrifying and sexier than all of these other pictures combined.

2011 Eyegore Awards Pictures – Monsters and Critics.

Gingers Be Gingerin’

Monte — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:09:37 +0000

Here is a snap of Marg Helgenberger attending something called the Rocky Horror Event. As in Rocky Horror Picture Show? I thought that died off in the 80′s. I mean, they show it on broadcast television now, it isn’t special. I had a great idea for a CSI episode once, but the producers just ignored it. It would have been directed by that guy who did LOST, and would have been an alternative reality of CSI, where Marg was still a stripper AND a crime scene investigator. And she would have hooked up with the black guy before he died. We could kill him off the same episode anyways. That’s what is so great about alternative realities, you can get away with pretty much anything. I really wish they would have at least given me some creative criticism on my treatise. Maybe the gangbang scene was too much for them. Or the full-cast bukkake ending. I’ll never know now.

Marg Helgenberger attends Rocky Horror Event – Monsters and Critics.

Well Hello Shrieky Annoying Chick from Whatever News Channel That Is

Monte — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:59:21 +0000

I never thought I would think, let alone type, those three words together. I don’t watch Dancing with the Starz or whatever the fuck that show is, and I could care less about it even if they had transgender fat guys performing. But the news of this photo I couldn’t escape. Who knew that ole’ Nancy had such a large pair of knockers, and that they (or at least one) wanted to come out and play so badly?

Kat Dennings

Monte — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:52:13 +0000

Is it Denning, singular, or Dennings, plural, like titties? Titties, I mean plural, it is. Kat is in a new TV series, 2 Broke Girls, that just started up. Oh yeah, and some blonde chick, Beth Behr. The story is something like the blonde used to be rich, but lost all her money, and somehow Kat ends up taking her in. I quit paying attention to plot after the first few minutes. It’s filled with snarky one-liners, short waitress skirts, and Kat’s cleavage begging to be released. There’s also a pervy cook that pops up occasionally that was stolen from my life story. Oh, and in the second episode, lots of shit. As in horse shit.

If you want more pictures, check out Fuck Yeah, Kat Dennings which should not be confused with Fuck Yeah! Kat Dennings Daily . This chick has a rabid fanbase, or a hell of a PR machine. You’ll love those sites if you are into animated GIF files, like I know you are. And after the jump, a picture of Kat’s cleavage so big that you’ll be trying to push your tongue through your monitor screen.