Realizations

August 18th, 2010 - 

While I have been “gone” the last several days, I have come to realize several things:

  1. Cops don’t have to identify themselves when undercover, even if you ask them if they are a cop.
  2. My wife is not willing to sleep with a bail bondsman for a discount.
  3. Most of the people in jail have it worse off than I do.
  4. I still haven’t given up on the existence of the hooker with a heart of gold.

How To Avoid Being Fired For Sexual Harassment

August 9th, 2010 - 
  1. Don’t hire Cinemax softcore actresses to work for you.
  2. Get more from your wife so you aren’t tempted to stray.
  3. Hire eunichs (unless that happens to be your particular fetish.)
  4. Hire a former dominatrix to follow you around and dissuade you from bonking employees (unless that also happens to be your fetish.)

Of course if you are going to be fired for sexual harassment, you would be well to do to have a $28 million golden parachute.